she gets it.

she gets that just one year ago, he was a tiny, tiny baby. she asked me if she could hold him, just like she used to, and so i let her.

remember?

she remembers when he was born. and, then she tells me, "it's just not the same, Mom. he grew." then, she looks at me with her big, brown eyes, and tells me that she doesn't want him to grow anymore. that she wants him to stay a baby. my eyes teared up, and hers did too. four's kinda young to be figuring all of this out, don't ya think?

well, it was his birthday. and to say that i can't believe it, would be quite the understatement. we had a pretty laid back day. the gym. a playdate for sister. strawberry cupcakes with lunch.

and then, we headed here. o holy night.

and ate this. disgusting

and bought these.

all on carson's birthday. oh my.

emma was thrilled. she's been begging to go, and i'll admit that both rob and i felt kinda funny being there. i guess it's like a parenthood rite of passage?

she had a blast.

and still loves all things horses.

and the helicopter was a favorite too.

and then, i made her play *dance dance revolution* with me. classic.

it wasn't exactly what i pictured for buddy's first birthday, but then i realized that he didn't care. and that his super special party was just around the corner.